Originally posted by steevie
Gosh where do I begin … I need to give it up all together …
and,
… BUT what if tommorow comes and like in the past I get the urge and do none of what I planned and go and play the slots …
Good morning Steevie, my name is Larry (screen name paul315) and I am a Compulsive Gambler, my last bet was Aug 13, 2009. Welcome to GT, it is a place you can find help; you will also find the friendship of others that have experienced all the things that you have and have felt all the same hurt and guilt – you are not alone in your trouble.
Where do you begin, you began six or so months ago by coming truthful to your husband and starting a recovery program through therapy. You can now continue that process and be restored to a normal way of thinking and living; the best way would be following the same process, once again being open to your husband and staying true to your recovery, and stop being secretive.
To copy a post from another member, "I will say that the secrets keep us sick. As long as you continue to *** your way through life when it comes to gambling, you will remain in a cycle where you hate yourself so you gamble, you gamble and you hate yourself, and on and on it goes. I’m never going to say that quitting is easy, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought. I only had to white-knuckle it through the urges, and then I was okay. Give in to them…and I was right back on the treadmill."
I have also found this information about telling a spouse from different others. Telling a spouse or significant other is a hard thing to do, mostly because you are also again admitting to yourself what you have done. But "admitting to ourselves and to another human" is one of the steps we must take to recover. In doing so, it might be best to do it now, as soon as possible – not convenient. Do it before they find out on their own – and they will, if not already known or highly suspected -, thus adding to any mistrust you may face. You are at a good stage having started with a recovery process by being here, showing them that you are sincere in facing your need to stop. If and when you do this, it is vital to be completely honest with them (and yourself). Let them know of your total addiction and the reason for the lack of money. Do not hold anything back for later, telling a little at a time causes additional mistrust each time that you spill out a little more of the story, you will then have to face another barrage of questions and new mistrust. Each time you revise your story they will just think, "what next, what else are you hiding".
Keep up with your visits here and placing barriers to help during the urges; if the urges become stronger, place stronger barriers and remember that the urge will not hurt you, but, giving in to them will cause more trouble. Do not gamble for anything for one day at a time, and you will find that the urges get less intense.
God’s speed, use your Higher Power to guide nd strengthen you.
Larry"Day Two Is Another Day Behind" – With the help of a Higher Power, My 3G’s – God, GA, and GT, I will continue to be gambling free.