Raking leaves has been you salvation many times Lizbeth but it can be monotonous too. Do you ever go for a long walk? I like to put the earphones from my little “brick” phone in my ears and listen to music on the radio or a discussion . I helps me to keep walking. I only take short walks these days. Today, after I went to the Credit Union it was still semi bright so I walked along a footpath and around a housing estate listening to an interesting programme on “Grief”.
I know you have experienced the personal loss of your husband, Lizbeth and it will always be there. As CGs we all experienced huge losses and not only financial. We also have our consolations. Your grand daughter and grandson are your incentive for staying away from the casino. They will never know you as a “gambler” if you stick to your guns Lizbeth. I am no different than anyone else when it comes to recovery. I have had many “reasons/opportunities” to gamble over the past 2 years. Indeed, yesterday my son said he was going back to where he lives. He came first with me to the Credit Union. It was still closed for the Christmas holiday. I felt a panic rising inside me. Back to the “empty house syndrome”. An ideal excuse to take flight to the casino. “This was always my time of year for gambling”. “Nobody needs to know” . “I’ve served my time”- all these thoughts were spiking through my mind so I switched to the non gambling mindset that I have trained myself to develop. I asked my son to stay another night. He agreed. We went home and watched DVDs and ate for the night. The Credit Union business was completed today, so I’m off to a GA meeting now. It would be MUCH easier to drift into a casino and totally opt out. I did that too often. Stopped the world and stepped off but we always have to come back, Lizbeth. I don’t think I have another recovery in me. So I will keep the one I am presently dealing with, one day at a time.
I hope and pray you will do likewise.
I think there is something different about you this time, Liz.
Like me, you have had enough!
Thanks for posting to my Thread.
