Hello everyone,
I havent posted in ages, but since i came to the forum I thought it would be nice to write an update on my recovery.
Gamblingwise, the quarantene has been good to me. Casinos are closed and Im banned on every legal online casino in my country so there’s no way to gamble. Honestly since I dont have the opportunity I dont even think about gambling, but i know the evil voice is there just waiting. I have been able to save so much money. Im living at my parent’s due to the quarantene so I havent spent much. Ive also almost quit smoking since I dont like to smoke in front of them.
It all seems nice, but the problem is I feel in prison and im afraid of my actions when i move out again, which will be real soon, since I will have to work at the office soon. Although casinos will not be opened yet, there will be lotto and scratch cards in every corner.
I feel i could have used this time in the coutryside much better and wiser. Ive simply lost 2 months of my life to netflix, shitty online games and reality shows. I could have taken the time to learn something new or to sort out some family issues with my parents, namely my dad ignoring my gambling addiction despite knowing about it. I feel like the child who prefered to be punished, do you know what I mean?
Besides all that I still feel lonely, a bit depressed, lacking meaningful connections to significant people. I feel I have no one who I can talk to about serious subjects and worse than that, I feel I will never have.
Thanks for reading and I hope you are all safe.
Regards,
Kolberg