Dear diary
Please don’t let my pride destroy me
Don’t let my pride tell me I am experience, that I have the knowledge to know what to do, the confident in handling my own money and I don’t need help.
It is possible for me to gamble again. All men are selfish at heart and have their price. Some may hold out longer than others, I have a breaking point too, and can compromise.
Help me to behave like it was my first day in recovery
Please do not allow me to feel embarrassed, ashamed, inferior, and afraid that everyone will look down at me, help me be brave, and have no fear because it takes deep strength to be honest and humble
Am I selfish and self-centered, and only love myself, love myself more than anyone else because it need love for my family to want to do it.
If I am really sincere and honest about wanting to change
Don’t lie, don’t deceive myself, don’t made any excuse, don’t delay. Do not hesitate to do this;
Go build and put up barriers to protect my recovery and myself.
So that when I want to gamble, I cannot go because I am banned from these places.
If I want to gamble, and cannot stop myself from going to one, I could not gamble because I do not have access to any extra money to gamble.
I must work hard,
I must practice and walk the talk to stand any chance to get well,
otherwise If I do nothing and talk the walk only, my chance is slim.
So help me God!
It works if you work it. It is worth it! we are worth it!