Dear diary
I am trying to remain positive and hopeful but I still need to do a reality check and be honest to myself to protect my sobriety.
So far I have not met anyone in GA, AA or NA who can guarantee that they will not gamble, drink or use drug forever.
Everyone seem to only focus on today and one day at a time.
Conditions may change, I may change, if I ever gamble, I need to make sure I do not lose my life. If I do gamble. It is very important that I do not have access to more money than I should have.
My recovery can improve, situation can improve but I still need to protect my sobriety and recovery.
Isnt it sad if one moment of insanity or madness wipe out all the effort over the years or if I allow my imperfection to wipe out my sobriety and life in one gamble.
I must have a safety net below to catch me when I fall. Imagine if I did not made any preparation or do anything, my next fall could be my last, it could kill me.