Hi Stevie,
Passed an important milestone today. I parked my car outside a William Hill to buy food at the neighbouring chippy and to my surprise, I resisted the urge to go in. I think having someone else to share this recovery journey with has been key for me, it’s obviously helped to suppress my usual feelings of despair in the last couple of days and the inevitability of having no money to buy simple essentials such as lunch…I had a BLT today! I have a new confidence about my recovery at the moment and considering the extent of my problem just a few days ago, it’s near miraculous – I honestly thought the time had come again to break both my wife and daughter’s hearts for a third time!
I don’t say that lightly either…the first time was about eight years ago and even though I had lost £27k in a single night online, it can never match the sheer pain and disgust I felt hearing my 13 year old daughter ringing around all the local bookies trying to get me excluded, whilst choking back her own tears! That’s my reference point, my lowest point. Trouble is gamblers get complacent and forget those moments which helped them stop, and that occasionally results in a relapse.
I hope that sharing it with you will give you strength, I know you would fight till your dying breath to save your kids from a potential predator who meant them harm, this disease needs to be treated with equal contempt and disdain because unchecked, it too will rob you of your family’s happiness as it robbed my daughter of her childhood.
Take care buddy
Stay Strong
TF