Hi gvralis, You said it very well. Living with a CG is poisonous. You are lucky in the regard that you are not financially tied down to her. I know you feel a strong attachment, but if you can see past her beauty, you might come to your senses some day. For me, I am conflicted between sticking it out, or taking a huge financial loss in a divorce settlement. I have gone through the numbers, and with careful planning and moving to a cheaper part of the country, I could easily retire on half, but I would prefer to stay where I am, so that would be a hard pill to swallow.
Although I do feel some obligation to my daughter, I sometimes wonder if she is playing similar games with me that my wife is playing, acting really nice and friendly when she wants something, and kind of aloof and moody when she doesn’t.
Another thing that is affecting me is my health. As I mentioned earlier, I have this breathing problem, which I suspect may be heart related. This is a problem I have had for a very long time, so not fatal so far.
The first time I experienced this feeling in my chest was with my first wife. At the time I was around 24 years old. My first wife was American and we were only married a little over two years. While I was married, she would frequently go out to local bars at night and have multiple affairs with other guys. She was also an alcoholic. When she got a tattoo on her chest with another guys name, I decided to call it quits. At the time I was having the same breathing problems, probably from stress and worry. After the divorce, my breathing went back to normal, and I was single for five years before I met my present wife.
About five to ten years into my marriage with my current wife, I started getting the same breathing problems I had before. So there is a connection to being in a bad relationship. I have been dealing with this health problem for close to 20 years now. I have been checked out several times by different doctors, and they can never find a physical problem, so prescribed anti-depressants. After research, I am convinced anti-depressants can cause more harm then good, so I try some natural approaches to dealing with my stress and anxiety. So to make a long story short, I am dealing with this, but I feel sick and tired (literally) most of the time. I feel that if I ever do get a divorce, it may solve my health problem.
My wife is always complaining about feeling tired, and she is always saying she will die soon, but I suspect she will outlive me. Her father is in his 80’s and is a smoker, and still healthy enough to run to the casino on almost daily basis. Her mother is in her late 70’s and still healthy, so I don’t see her going any time soon. Her grandmothers died in their 90’s as well.