I’m happy to see you post a bit more. It is easier to write when all things are going well, so top marks to you.
Whatever life is throwing at you IDI, just take a minute and reflect how hard you’ve faught to get into recovery. I hope you can and it fills you with pride.
Think of the serenity prayer, for years just words to me, now my lifetime mantra. Also The Lords Prayer. We used to just make our own words up to that in school assembly we knew it off by heart but the words held little substance to me until the last few months. Don’t let yourself be lead in to temptation.
However strong we think we are, however much we think we’ve finally “got it” it is always going to be there ready to tempt us should we turn off from our recoveries. You do hear of people slipping back into full blown addiction after ten years or even longer, dont live in fear of it though. You are proving day after day, week after week that you are stronger than this addiction.
I understand the “moment” you had the other night with your sons computer I really do. As much as I boast quite a lot about not getting urges these days, I know that I had many many similar “moments” to what you had the other night, when I was on a strange high street with a bookies on every corner.
Just one momentary lapse of reason could see any of us on the bottom again very quickly.
You’re doing well IDI, and one line posts just dont suit you.
Day 41, it has flown by. Six weeks tomorrow, excellent.