It’s good to have a plan, K and having determination to figure out recovery will help you to implement that plan. In my experience very few people (none in fact)understand what goes on in a CG’s mind. Like you, I often feel resentful that my husband shows disregard for the seriousness of my problem, not by dipping my nose in my losses but by “leaving me wide open” to gambling. I often think he wants me to gamble. How warped is that!?In your case you lost his deceased father’s money and of course he is shocked and angry about that. Sadly, when we are in the throes of gambling we don’t care where the money comes from. In fact money loses it’s real meaning and becomes mere ammunition to “keep the reels spinning”. And yes, we ALWAYS intend winning it back. The thing we need to instill in our brains is that as compulsive gamblers,we will NEVER win. The nature of the addiction is that we will continue until we can no longer gamble i.e. the money runs out. That’s why it’s a compulsion. You’re feelings towards other people is not unusual. “Where were they when I needed help” often crossed my mind , or ” they haven’t a clue what I’m going through so why should I befriend them” . My reality was (is) that I isolate myself when I gamble. I shut everybody out. Friends and family are nothing more than time wasters who will cramp my style or wreck my buzz. What kind of friend could measure up to that behaviour? The bottom line, K is that we have caused a lot of damage by our gambling. Money is not what its all about. Gambling is an emotional issue. If your husband or other family members could join the Friends and Family Forum on this site or attend Gamanon, it would give them the insight they need to support themselves and understand the problem. Try to be patient. It takes a long time to undo the chaos we created. Action speaks louder than words . When your family members begin to notice that you are making positive efforts, they will come round. As Jen says, give it time.
