The last time I played slots/vlts was Nov. 1, 2012 and I know that I am not going out tonight to play them, so that is one year that I have not played them. Has it been easy, no it has been so hard at times, and yes there were times that I wanted so bad to run away and escape to oblivion. I was out running around today doing errands and I ended up drawing cash from the ATM that I would go to close to the Casino, and I also ended up driving past the Casino. When I was drawing the money from the ATM the thoughts that came to mind were how I would be in such a rush to get to the Casino, the excitement, anticipation of getting in to play machines. I then thought about all the money I had wasted, and the way I felt about myself after I had lost too much money. The self loathing, guilt, fear of the addiction and not being able to stop. I thank God (Higher Power to others) that I have been able to stay away from those machines. I also understand so well how easy it is to end up back playing those machines. I do know that I can’t play those slots/vlts as I am powerless and not able to stop once I start. I know that it is one day at a time that I have to continue on my recovery. I hope and pray that I can continue to stay away from those machines, but I know that I cant get complacent as all it takes is putting one dollar in a machine and then I am powerless. Wishing everyone a wonderful gamble free day!!!
