Just reread your latest post and I’ll answer your final question. No technically you don’t have to end on a loss to truly stop forever. Most ppl do though. I was actually down 40k+ not once, or twice but three times (not including countless smaller “chases”)… I promised I’d never do it again over and over yet I did it every time. But I finally stopped (I was actually up 5k at once stage, lost about 3-4k and then stopped for 6 months). In my recent relapse I “only” lost about $250-300 in total. My final binge resulted in a slight net win of about $75. Whilst I have only stopped for a week I have decided enough is enough. Every time I play I put myself at risk of losing it all again.
But I have to say I was lucky…very lucky, to “only” be down about 5-7k overall from all my gambling. Realistically I should be about 50k in the red given how absolutely irrational I was at the peak of my addiction. I basically rolled 3 doubles in a row to get out of jail in Monopoly terms. I do fear that it may happen again in the future (it’s inside me just like it is in you)…so I will do whatever it takes to stop forever.
We simply can never gamble ever, in any situation or on any form of gambling. The compulsion to chase losses is just too strong and uncontrollable. Good work on handing over your finances and the self-exclusion. You say there are too many to self-exclude from…I literally spent many hours (more than 10) actively creating accounts on every single online gambling site I could find and self-excluding proactively. This is the length we need to go to stop ourselves. Sure new sites will always pop up but it would take me literally hours to find a new one that I could actually trust (I dont play on small websites with no pre-existing good reputation). This is enough to stop me from gambling. I have accepted that I cannot control it, I’ve let go of my ego/pride and simply empowered myself to take control and take action…no action is too drastic in terms of preventing a relapase. You gotta do whatever it takes to defeat this addiction.
So please consider full self-exclusion and gambling blocking software. Tie up your long term investments while you still have a clear head.