I have become more thankful and positive. I was able to see and continue to seek the endless hope! I do not sink into self pity and beat myself up until I cannot get up so easily nowadays in hopeless end.
Sometime I can still remember to look at all the good things that recovery has given me and not at all the failures and the good things that I did not get and cannot do.
I may stop to adjust and FIND my DIRECTION but I cannot stay stop for too long, once I find the right direction, I need to take action immediately. The goal for every recovering person was the same which was to be FREE from all SELF-DESTRUCTIVE behaviors.
Many people MOVE towards this ultimate goal at a DIFFERENT PACE and some people need MORE HELP than others. There will be some exceptional cases where complete abstinence is not possible, for example some who may need on-going medication to help them with their substance dependence or co-occurring disorders such as depression.
I am doing this to help myself. I needed this more than anyone. I do not need another recovering person to be judgmental and critical of me and I definitely cannot be judgmental and critical of others because I do not know what they has gone through.
Thank God I am alive today!