Okay, I lost what I was typing, so I will start over! I am feeling better emotionally today. I made the decision to a debt settlement on my cards and loans. I will save $450 per month and it will be paid off in 9 months. Looking back I should of had someone help me with my finances while I was grieving my Husband’s death. I am finally coming out of the fog now, 3 years after his death. I can’t go back and change things. I can only learn and move forward. I haven’t spoken to my Mother since Monday afternoon when she threw her tantrum. I need to put some space and time between us. She said some terrible things to me and brought my oldest Daughter’s name into her rant. Anything that I confided with her she threw up into my face. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough! LOL!!! Anyways I was thinking, I wouldn’t let a friend or stranger talk to me the way she does. I don’t know if our relationship will recover from her last stunt. I have decided if it doesn’t, I am alright with that. I don’t want to leave and sell my home. That would be my last resort. I will have to see what happens. These manic outbursts have happened all my life. Sometimes you have to say enough! I did tell her that she needed to get help for her anger issues. I have been a good Daughter to her. Maybe my Sister can step up and take over. Just a thought. No gambling urges at all. I am ready to take control of my life. I may have to go the city for counseling. I will if I can’t find someone here that my insurance will cover.
