For many years out of my 12 years in recovery, I was practicing total abstinent one day at a time. At first it was real simple, I just have to go total abstinent.
I was honest in the beginning. I did not cheat when I go abstinent BUT I relapse time and time again. I could not handle those many setback in life.
I had relied on ME, I, MYSELF , My Power to do recovery, I had tried to correct and change things whenever there were setback, it never work. I crumble under all the weight and disappointments.
I did not know how to depend on a GREATER POWER than me in recovery, I did not accept that I was POWLERLESS over my GAMBLING and ALCOHOL.
I was not humble and honest enough to surrender completely to God, Gambling, Alcohol and my many addictions. GOD and the DEVIL in my addiction are a GREATER POWER than ME.
I became so POWERLESS and HELPLESS when I was Gambling and using Alcohol. This awareness make me real small.
I have struggled and do not know how to live life on life ‘s term in recovery ever since August 2005.
But since April to July 2017, I have turn to a greater power than myself everyday.
I choose to TRUST and allow God to fight the battle for me everyday. I was prepared to accept anything that God gives me and many times it did not turn out the way I wanted.
I have learn to ACCEPT and TOLERATE them, I do not try to intervene, I do not runaway anymore from the pain, suffering and discomfort. It was living life on life ‘s term.
In recovery, my God come first, my family second and me last. Giving myself less importance and teaching myself HUMILITY in life has improve the quality of my recovery. HUMILITY protect me from PRIDE and SHAME N DISGRACE. HUMILITY keep me GRATEFUL.
HONESTY, HUMBLE, HUMILITY PROTECT ME FROM COMPLACENCY, TEMPTATIONS and TRIGGERS.
