Thank you all for the concerns and giving me a new sense of direction. So far, i havnt been back to the casinos but I am still wasting good money on lottery hoping to hit the jackpot. I feel its my only ticket to have a life. I manged to stay hidden from those who are hunting me andvlawsuits from the debts i have incurred because of my gambling problems but i cant live and go on like this. Money is so hard to come by. Am now in my 40s and its hard to get a job. I fear everynight about what my future if i go on like this and still regretting my past. Pls help me. Still contemplating on suicide or robbing a bank and suicide through cops. Last night i put a loaded gun in my head, all i need is to pull the trigger. I just cant do it. Im still hopingmto get a second chance.
Last week i was prayed over by my Christian cousin over skype. He asked god to lighten my load. I started watching christian preachings over the net Hoping it will lighten my load. Yes. For a moment. But reality sticks in when bills comes in, then you ask god where he is. Then you realize your still alone and feels god also abandoned you. Then you forget god. So how does one mobes on after losing his life to gambling?