[Jacquespaul]

Today I feel terrible again. I look at all aspects of my life and it’s all in ruin. Way to complicated. And want this pain to end. Clearly I am not well atm and cannot see that I will get better ever. My mental state coupled with all other issues that seem impossible in them selves means I do not see a light and definitely no tunnel. I hate myself and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I’m in work now for 12 hours and I cannot do my job and it seems like the situation is unrecoverable. O dear..