Sadly yours is a familiar story. Starting low and then when you gain access to more money – gambling more and then getting access to credit which also gets used for bets.
Also not stopping when up and able to pay off some of the debt.
You say you can pay off your debts in about a year or so. That doesn’t sound too long – but I know from experience that we tend to predict it will take less time than it does. Also beware that once debt free you will be tempted to gamble again – as you were able to get out of the mire once … That is just how our brains work.
You know that you need to tell your wife about gambling with her money. It will be better coming from you, than if she finds out in some other way. However no-one can predict how she will react once she knows and it could put your marriage at risk. Personally, I would get support from someone over this – probably a counselor so that you know information will be kept confidential and not leaked back to her. If she can see that you acknowledge you have the problem and that you are doing something about it, then she may be more willing to support you. But hey, I know nothing about your personal situation – so this is a call that you will need to make. But the more people who are looking out for you the better – and remember that when you start recovery and you are doing new things (like going to a support group) she is going to notice and possibly ask questions …
What you can do now is take the steps to stop gambling. It is crucial that you do this as you have already alluded to being tempted to chase losses in your last but one sentence.
So – admit you have a problem. I mean really admit it – put as much effort into recovering from this problem as you put into your gambling … it has to be – you are fighting for your families future as well as your own.
Ban and block yourself from all places and online sites where you gamble. There is information about site blockers under “self help” on this site and plenty of information on the internet.
If you decide to come clean with your wife – see if she can handle your finances for you, until you are strong enough in your recovery. If you do not want to involve her – is there some other family member or a close friend that could do this? If you have to continue to handle your own finances – read up on strategies in other people’s posts.
Get really good support for yourself. Counseling is one option but also self-help through Gamblers’ Anonymous or some other local support group.
Finally, you need to find something in your life to replace your gambling. It will be tempting to focus on your family – but again don’t rush to make changes you can’t sustain, that could be confusing and upsetting to your family. Rather think about what you gave up for gambling – either actual activities or hopes and dreams and focus on the new life that you are going to build.
I am sure others will chip in with more advice. Keep posting and let us know what is happening. I wish you well.