Hating myself for relapsing again and chasing losses. Only lasted three days without gambling, but it was all I could think about and consumed me. Despite being sleepy and barely keeping my eyes open, I spent 16 hours pressing the spin button and watching money go up and down, awaiting the “big win” screen from a feature. I got only a couple hours of sleep before work and didn’t even have dinner last night nor shower.
As much as I don’t want to go to GA, I think it is time to be courageous like user i-did-it. This forum has provided me with much needed comfort knowing that I am not alone, but I can’t beat this addiction by myself. I might not make much, but I think investing in an addiction counsellor might be better than wasting money at the casino.