Hi Logic, It is nice to see you posting but please remember your post is for you so post when you need to (although of course once people comment on a post they do look to see how people are doing and it is always good to hear from the original contributor).
It sounds like you hit a real low and have come out of it understanding that you need to protect yourself a little better. As for ‘bringing your partner down with you’ if you are not shouting at him or making personal remarks or deliberately making him feel guilty then his moods are just that ‘his’. CG often go through many low times and we don’t always get to know the full reason for them, so much is hidden, it’s not your fault or responsibility. As you have so astutely observed though there can be a patten to these moods (there was a post up the other day about this very subject).
You are in a difficult position because your cg is in denial and honestly there is not much you can do in this situation except not be party to the addiction (ie gambling with them, accepting gifts from a win or lending or giving money) which I believe you are already doing.
If it is difficult to be around him at these argumentative periods you could always keep the visits shorter to protect yourself a little or spend some of your time together engaged in an activity either with or without him by way of a detraction and to break things up.
He is a fortunate man to have such a caring and tolerant partner whilst he is not willing to look at his own problems. It is vital you have time for you whether this be spending time with friends or family or engaging in a passion or hobby, this is what keeps us sane and balanced, it is impossible to keep balanced when your life becomes all about the addiction.
Please don’t apologize about a post not being positive enough, the forum is here for you in good times and bad and to help you get your own thoughts clear, we are all here to support each other.
Take care of yourself, Lily x