[kin]

Dear diary

If I had listen to myself and gone ahead with the bet.
I would have lost everything 2 times so far.

Those sudden impulse to punt is really very harmful to me.
It is neither a well studied plan or a business decision, it is just an impulsive one, a blind one, a wild guess, punting for the sake of punting to relive or feel the gambling experience.

It was so difficult to save myself from me. It is only a matter of time I fail if I am the one making the final call. I have a thresh hold or limit to resist, one day I will fail.

One day when I start to feed the impulsive thought, it will eventually empower me.

Another very clear and convincing evidence that only a Higher Power can save me from me.