Thank you so much Velvet. I loved your response to my post and the story of the donkey. That is so true and it keeps me going.
I recently watched an Oprah programme and there was a celebrity on it who had lost all his money, his home and belongings due to living ‘the high life’ until he ended up sleeping out of his car for several months and living in poverty to which he called his ‘rock bottom’. He said he wasnt telling his story to make people feel sorry for him but to help people realise that if you have a desire to change things then you can.
He then went on to tell a tale of how he saw a light at the top of the mountain and how he had a vision of getting up there but first he had to pull his wagon up to the top as he had a strong rope around his neck and he knew the journey was going to be tough, but he also knew he wanted to get to the top. He described his friends getting on his wagon and helping him up the mountain by putting their feet outside on to the dirt as they pushed with their legs to support him getting up the hill. he spoke about others sitting on his wagon and happily enjoying the ride but without giving him much support but he then spoke about the people who tried to keep his wagon at the bottom of the hill by constantly weighing it down, people who were using up his precious energy to meet their own needs and who just tried to drag him down when all he wanted to do was keep going up. He said he had to put those people out of his wagon or he would never have felt the light at the top of the mountain.
It made me think and i hope you know what i mean?
The man did get back on top again and he got his wagon to the top of the mountain.
I want to keep going up and its hard as my ex contacted me again today. a text saying please respond to this as i gave you my mobile phone and now i need it back. its left me anxious as he had run up a phone bill of 2000 pounds and i didnt know at the time, but had also failed to pay his contract. I didnt know he had one.
Anyway, he gave me his phone in april and said his provider was cutting him off so he couldnt use it. he gave it to me and said it made sense for me to have it. I then took out a one year pay as you go monthly contact at a cheap rate per month but when my ex had gambled again and i was short of money, i sold it and downgraded myself to a phone that was just as suitable for me. Now after all this time, he has text me saying he still has a contract with his provider (although ‘bumped’by him) and he wants his phone back.
Does he want his phone back or is it an excuse to contact me as i made it clear after he threatened me yesterday not to contact me again? am i in any trouble as i sold the phone?
why am i feeling anxious when he is the one causing this? so many questions again. I guess i just have to tell myself that i did nothing wrong as he gave me his phone willingly. i did not steal or take it without his permission. if all this happened in april, why wait and ask for the phone now ?
I have not responded to his text. I am going to keep ignoring him.I have to get to the top of my own mountain and i know the very person I dont want on my wagon just now, or ever if he continues to not give me space when all i want is to recover.
shaking the dirt off velvet, thank you.