Thank you for all your support and good advice velvet jenny and Vera. It is really interesting to read your posts and how positive and well you are doing. Your input is very much appreciated.
I find it takes me time to read, process and then act on good advice. Things take much longer to deal with than I appreciated. I have always been in a rush to make my CG better I suppose .
He is continuing to do what he wants. Have heard very little from him. There is no set pattern for him to see our daughter. He saw her in the week this week but She has been upset a few times about him since. I put this down to the uncertainty of his contact. I’ve decided that this is not good for her at all. I’m just unsure how to deal with it. I’m finally getting to grips with what a boundary means. I have really struggled with understanding this because I suppose I didn’t know what I wanted .
I feel like I have all the advice and need to take action. I mean this as be clear what I want and what is acceptable for her. I am not requesting visits for her. I need to now get help on my strategies for coping if he stops seeing her all together. She keeps talking about him a lot drawing pictures and been a bit attention seeking at nursery. She is 4 and about to leave nursery and start school so it is a time for change for her. I was very upset and angry about this on friday and upon advice from harry on the helpline ive contactacted a local support group for counseling. I’m getting a bit worried about her and not sure what to do. I feel I need to tell my CG the impact of his irresponsible behaviour is having on her but again don’t know how to. There is little point setting up a plan if he doesn’t stick to it. Its just can I live with myself if I tell him not to see her unless he has taking steps to control his addiction. ? I know only I can answer this and I don’t want to make an emotional decision.
With school holidays coming up I have got some lovely things planned with her. A weekend away next weekend and then our holiday in a few weeks. My friend and family with young children are joining us so I know we will have a great time. A much better option than holidaying with the anxiety an active cg brings.
At the moment I not feel very well equipped to deal with my daughters upset unfortunately. I am keeping her busy and looking forward rather than hovering around for the first time in a while. All that is good but I need to be confident I am doing things the right way for my daughter.
Thanks as always
M