Thank you for your kind reply.
I read your F&F cycle post. Parts of it made sense. His addiction is online so was on his phone constantly. He often seem frustrated if I questioned him about it or wanted to do anything over the weekend (especially when the football scores were coming in!).
You asked about his cocaine addiction- this stopped only when we moved cities and he completely cut the people out of his life who he did drugs with.
He went to his first GA meeting last night. When he left I had a panic attack and convinced myself he was either on a gambling splurge or worse, that he was going to kill himself. It’s clear that this has shook me to a level that I’m only just beginning to understand…… I hope this anxiety will fade with time.
My husband seems massively elated and positive after his meeting. He doesn’t have many friends (since the post cocaine friend cull) so it’s nice that he has some ‘male’ support.
I on the other hand feel emotionally drained now. The intense emotions have passed and I feel numb. This all seems very real now.
I work full time and most evenings so ‘me’ time is difficult. I’m hoping to get to a few yoga sessions next week to clear my head.
We will need to sort finances out this weekend- he has spoken to his new GA buddies and I think they have made him feel better about me taking over.
Thanks again, your comments are really helping. It’s nice not to feel so alone in this mess 🙂