Hi BL,
It can be good to be busy but it is still important to take time for you when you can, ‘me’ time is still very important even if its just 15 min in the bath or sitting in the garden, it gives you time for a breath and helps keep you on an even keel. Hard when you have a family though I know,
Unfortunately when someone has been a CG for a while lying become habitual and often even in early recovery a CG will lie about things even when there is absolutely no necessity for it. Unlearning this habit an important aspect for recovery as open and honest communication is in my view an essential tool to long term success. In order to foster an safe environment for this for you both it is vital you can trust each other to not only tell the truth but also to listen without going into a huge row, Of course you have every right to feel angry but I have found it i more helpful to discuss the feelings the issues are bringing up than to ‘go off; on one where possible.
Because for many years your husband has relied on lying to support his addiction it may take a while to break the cycle and realise there is no need to lie any longer. With the help of his counselor he will hopefully become more self aware and start to catch himself before he tells a ‘little’ lie which in term will help him feel more connected to the people around him.
Open discussion and having things out in the open and even constructive arguments is better than hidden resentment and secrets but it is all about learning a different way to relate which is a huge learning curve for both parties.
Keep taking care of you and taking one day at a time, Lily x