Hi BL, what a lovely positive post and well done you for taking charge of what you can in your own life and doing the things you find fulfilling too. It sounds like you are both putting the children first in the situation and your husband is wise to be getting a system of support in place before he assumes he is truly in recovery.
Gamblers partners tend to be caring people on the whole and so it is not uncommon to have a codependent element, it is very insightful of you to tackle it head on. Nice too you are getting time together I am sure you are careful to avoid any inadvertent enabling by financial support, access to funds ect.
You are right about a relationship with a cg there are many shades of grey and it can be confusing but I found it helps to think about what YOU (and your children) need from a relationship and let that guide your actions (ie if you need to be financially secure, you need to take charge of the money ect).
Keep up the good work, Lily x