Hi Theone,
Thanks for your reply.
I agree with what you’re saying about lists. I felt worthless and I just needed to put things on paper.
I don’t think self-exclusion is the solution. It is in fact a blockade when you feel like gambling, but there are so many bookie. If the urge is high enough, I will just go to another city.
I gamble most of the time at 1 bookie ( my favorite one). In the past I self-excluded myself here. But days after I just went to other one’s around the corner.
So let’s say I self-exclude myself to all of the one’s in the area. That will make it harder to gamble, because I need to go further to gamble. But I don’t care as a gambler, I will go to the other side of the country if it’s needed. Maybe visit the real casino’s.
The self-exclusions only last for 3 month’s. And I have to give a copy ID, which I’m just not comfortable with. I like to remain an anonymous gambler.
Access to money is restricted since 5 years now and yet I’m able to gamble an amount each week. There were periods when I felt strong enough to take care of my own finances, which wasn’t possible. This periods I wasn’t gambling and I felt good. But when I noticed it just wasn’t possible I kinda gambled as a resist for not getting my finances back. Kinda thought: ” Then I will make my own money”.
It’s just not fun having to ask for your own money. I’m to proud to having to ask for money. I feel ashamed a lot. Moments were I don’t have enough money on my bankcard, while I know I do have money on my financed account, is just killing me.