Lisbeth,
You are so right ! Shopping is the best .
This is how my thinking is now .
I have a home that needs thousands spent on it .
I have so little money and it seems everyone’s priorities in terms of money are being met except mine – I need a decent home not another trip !
I have also had a reality check – even though I believed that I have not got myself into too much difficulty , now that I can face it , I realise that I have 5500 on credit cards since last summer . This needs to be paid – and while my over all debts have come down by a huge amount it seems I have been in denial about my actual debt amount . My credit is shot so I cannot get money on lower interest to pay this .
I am going To ring them and arrange yet another repayment plan if I can .
I won’t have a credit card but in truth I think I am unfit ever to hold a credit card.
Being accepted for a credit card and having it arrive in the post gives me exactly the same feeling as walking into a casino and sitting at a machine – the anticipation , the buzz- it is like money for nothing.
So I will treat myself to something as you suggest Lizbeth – but I feel I have put myself into such a corner .
My options at this stage are not my choices .
I will have to get employment which pays more , or take on extra work, or accept my circumstances .
I have been thinking a lot
Things I want in my life :
– I want to move closer to my family .
I’m not sure this will ever happen.
-I want a decent home after all my years of work
– I want peace in my mind and in my heart
– I want my child to be happy
– I don’t want to feel I am living someone else’s life which has been untruthfully imposed upon me.
– I want to have the motivation to make things happen.
– I want to stop feeling overwhelmed
– I want to stop feeling lonely and lost
I sound so miserable – withdrawal is no fun!