Mav you aren’t any more of a CG now, to what you were this time last week. You havn’t gotten any worse.
I echo what the vast majority of others have said here, the amount of money is not important. I’m really pleased that you didn’t win because you most certainly wouldn’t have been back here until it had all gone.
You say last night “had to happen”. I cant agree with that, and yet, that makes me hypocritical because I have done similar things and thought similar things in my past. I now know, of course, that it’s a complete load of bollocks. Last night didn’t have to happen, its just that you wanted it to.
Vera mentions in her reply that she wont tell you the amount shes gambled because shes been told it can be a trigger to peoples gambling. I think thats wise.
I can see by your post above that you talk with Jansdad on facebook, for what its worth I think that it isn’t such a good idea. You both may feel you are supporting and helping each other, but I would reckon it can be detrimental to both your recoveries. I would think, judging by Jansdads post above that your conversations on facebook would end up with you talking about the size and values of bets made, the amounts lost, the near misses, the lucky escapes the mammoth sessions. Big deal, here you are two middle-aged men on a therapy site, the near misses big wins and huge sums of money havnt done you much good have they.
I’m not going to name names on this thread but I remember a couple of years ago on this site two members who were trying to start recovery again after recent relapses decided to get together on facebook. Within 48 hrs they had both gambled.
Its your life, and your recovery mav, if you feel last night had to happen before you could start to get better, than thats done and dusted. Onwards and upwards from here on in.
Just remember this, I was told it by a wise man called Maverick many months ago. Just because you’ve got the monkey of your back dosn’t mean the circus has left town.
However strong you feel against the addiction at the minute, dont be lulled into a false sense of security (or serenity), its there ready to pounce.
Wishing you well.