I believe that since I have taught myself through EasyWay that by not gambling I am not giving up something good or helpful, urges have disappeared. My problem with gambling was always that I thought something was being taken away from me, something good, therefore I wanted to go back and do it again and again. I thought I was being deprived of having the chance to make up for all of the prior losses with a big win. I was being deprived of the freedom to do as I choose.
An analogy might be if as a kid I was offered a lollipop by a kind looking person once per week. I took the lollipop, and then ate it, enjoying the sweet flavor very much. Then the next day I got very sick but recovered the day after. I made no association between the lollipop and the sickness. A week later, I was offered another lollipop from the same kind looking person. Once again, I enjoyed it immensely, but got sick again the following day, and then recovered. I still made no association. My mom tells me I shouldn’t eat candy from strangers, but I do not listen. This pattern goes on for several weeks. I finally grow suspicious and go to the doctor. The doctor tells me that the lollipops are laced with poison, and if I continued eating them I will die. Each time I was offered the lollipop after learning of the poison, I flatly refused, knowing I wasn’t missing out on anything!
Perhaps my problem with relapses has been caused by the idea that I am being deprived. The idea that I “like” gambling because it is “fun” is what I tell myself, and everyone around me is somehow stopping me from having this “fun”. Therefore I must go gamble to show myself and others that I can and will do it and will not be deprived of my “fun”. I now know that it’s all a head game that I play with myself. I am not being deprived of anything by not gambling. In fact, I am being deprived of a normal life by gambling. Kind of a Eureka! moment for me.