Hi mm
I was just updating my thread and somehow lost what I had written. In the meantime I have read your reply and wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts. It must be incredibly difficult if you are spending a lot of time alone? Loneliness is an awful feeling and I think the addiction leaves you feeling lonely and isolatef often in a room full of people sometimes. I do understand. I spent many years feeling lonely although I could have spoken to friends or family. I felt shame and embarrassment. I now realise I could have helped myself sooner by seeking support from other people too. Is there anyone in your family or a friend you could talk to who you feel won’t judge. Even now I am truly honest only with few people about the affect the addiction has had on me. I didnt even realise the effect it did have for a long time. The first place I truly opened up was here. That somehow gave me the courage to reach out to others. I know your situation is very difficult but do you contact friends and family in the UK? Can you Skype.? Anything to connect you back to things you used to enjoy. Things you have forgotten about. My head has been full of gambling for many years and it is such a waste. The most difficult thing for me was accepting I had no control. A really hard lesson. Instead of trying many strategies to minimise the affect of the addiction I wish I had used my time more effectively for me.
These thoughts are just my experience its just I know I am so much better when I am with people and doing things not just sitting thinking. If I keep busy days pass by quickly. I still find weekends most difficult as I perceive others to be in their traditional family unit. But it has just taken me time to find the energy to actually do things!! Are there things you enjoy doing,?
Thank you for taking the time to write on my thread. You are being very supportive at a time when you are having such a tough time and it really is appreciated. Writing things diwn helped this weekend. Thanks. Keep looking after yourself as much as possible. I know how difficult it is to think clearly and be strong. My experience is that only by finding the right answers for you do you begin to feel easier. Have confidence in yourself. You have lived with such difficult circumstances already don’t forget you are strong enough to deal with this. Keep faith in yourself. That is all you really need
I know I need to also convince myself of this!!
Best wishes
M x