Glad you’re here.
Keep writing, keep sharing. That stuff that feels too hard to talk about or say anything to anyone … I think that’s part of it … it’s the feeling of emotional strait jacket the secrecy … or feeling so ashamed and like you won’t be understood …
I’ve felt that deep myself — the shame and feeling of spiraling. It’s an aching feeling and very disempowered. The world around you switches off.
Deceit and distortion is the name of the game with gambling … it has automatic answers to things with lies “I can’t do that” “I can’t try that” … it like puts a switch in your head that automatically rejects practical solutions (and paints them within your head and emotional field as “impossible”)…
So you have to go a step at a time. Writing here and chatting and sharing is a step. Keep taking steps. You can get through this and make a change — there is oxygen above the surface.
Much love and support <3