Just reading your thread and I’m sorry you have relapsed.
It just does go to show that even after so much time, there is still always that possibility to gamble. We must always make the choice not to gamble. We don’t know when to say NO. If you had had more money available there is a good chance you would have lost that too. (I know I would have)
Try not to focus on your 4 days of relapse but rather focus on your 189 days sober (Gf). In my opinion it is that time that matters and that’s where you need to get back to.
I am only on day 3 so I have a lot of catching up to do to even get to that point. Keep your head up!