Just found this blog Jay. How you doing, it’s a few months since you posted. Your story is so similar to mine. I was running a succesfuk production company making films, and we just finished 7 short films for a charity. Really good films. But the budget has been used up and we haven;t finished because of gambling last year. Instead of focusing on the production I was sneakily playing poker. It was even that much money, but the time was days and days and days. Obviously the work didn’t get done. I kept telling myself to get help, but kept putting it off. Then depression hit, I was unfocused, having anxiety attacks – still didn’t do anything about it. Now, had a big relapse this year and started using company funds. Now we are running out of money to pay the company debts, no work (becuase I didn’t do the marketing/ networking) an I feel like a failure. I have a wife and small son, and she is going back to Colombia as she is sick of this. She has said she will never know if I am gambling or not. I am now into day 11 of being gamble free and the last 11 days have been hell. I need to find a way of forgiving myself, but not forgetting. I have to accept that I must close my lovely office, and possibly shut the business, but I have to accept that.
Please post again and let us know how you are doing.