Dear diary
I needed the practice very much, nothing comes free, the regular practice I put to resist and say No to gambling will prepare me for the future. It will help me to develop the muscle or mental strength and habit to stay gambling free in the future.
Thoughts
It did cross my mind to punt on a football match at 1am with the money I had last night. I am fully aware that these money are mean for paying up my credit card bill.
Consideration of the repercussion if I lost the money has never been the top priority in my decision when I study my risk profile and option.
The main focus has always been on the possibilities of winning, if it is not impossible, I would like to take the risk to made it possible. The winning was too attractive, it offer the quick money I want now.
I was aware that these distorted, irrational thoughts and feelings that I am having nowadays are part and parcel of early recovery, they are not reliable and dependable. I have learn in the past that I still have choices on the action, because I made the final decision to follow or not follow my thought and feeling.
Feeling
I feel like punting on the football match, I desire the additional money from the winning. This is what I want last night.
I feel that it is more important for me to use the same money to pay up my credit card bill instead. This is what I need most.
Action
I do not need to gamble for extra money, the little I have and earning now is enough and sufficient for my living expenses and commitments in the future.
The risk from gambling was too high, I cannot afford them.
I choose not to follow my thought and feeling to gamble on the football match.
One day at a time, I say No to gambling.
Anyway the result is in the news, I would have lost the money if I went ahead to gamble on the match.
