Its a funny thing about gambling addiction, that it’s never really about the money until it’s all gone. That’s when money and the lack of it comes into play. Most people will quit when they are up, having “won” money. We won’t stop. It just keeps us playing for longer. I crave the surge of adrenaline I get when I see the bonus symbols pop up for the bonus. It means I beat the odds. The amount thereafter never gives me as big a thrill as those dam bonus symbols. That’s why the manufacturers of the machines make it loud and colorful for us. It fuels the fire. I crave that feeling every day. I too have registered many times on the same online casinos. I have many many email accounts to use and have a middle name as well. I have self excluded from every one and still find new ones to lose money to every week. My life isn’t in shambles yet, but I am the mother of a girl in university and want to get my crap together for her future and mine.
I think that we all want to stop, and want to do anything we can do it. Or do we? The only thing we actually have to stop is gambling, nothing more, nothing less. Seems simple enough. I don’t want to be one of those poor souls wandering around casinos looking lost and searching for that one machine that’s going to hit big. I hate casinos. I always have a headache by the time I leave. It’s never a good time. Same as online. I will play until I actually hate playing. It’s the bonus symbols all the time. I am waiting for them to appearance give me the rush that I need. I am not a compulsive gambler, I am addicted to the rush of the bonus rounds, of beating the odds. When I get them, I feel victorious. Anyone understand? It says that to successfully beat any addiction that is of a behavioural nature you must replace one behavior with a healthier one that brings about the same feeling. I am going to try getting a rush from not gambling one day at a time. Its a .long shot. I made 7 days last week with nothing. Then my day off was a bust. I’m not sure what you are getting from the type of gambling that you do but is it so much better than the feeling of being in control that you are willing to live with the feelings of waste and disappointment in yourself? What would you really give to feel pride in yourself again? Imagine the feeling of being gamble free for one month. Then just do it and see how you feel. I felt great for the 7 days I was free, then awful for one. It wasnt worth it for me and I am going back on the wagon. I’m trying for 2 weeks. Gonna see how good that feels and go from there. If it truly is like any other addiction then we have to free ourselves from the rush, reprogram our brains to simpler methods of getting the pleasure, and that takes time. Try one day at a time, then two and walk the walk that will make this happen. It won’t be easy. Addiction is a bitch. Fight for your life because it’s only you that can do it and no one else.
