Hi mermaid
I may be mistaken but your posts seem to indicate you are putting pressure on yourself to make decisions about your future quickly. There may be many reasons for this and it may not be the case but another piece of advice I have received on here that has worked for me has been ‘if you are unsure what to do then pause and stand still until you know’.(thanks velvet). This site is full of stories where CG have sought recovery and also CG who have not. You are not with your husband and it will be having a big impact on him. But only his actions over time will tell you if he is trying to change. I have lived with the addiction to gamble for over 10 years and although I have been aware of the addiction for many years it has taken me a very long time to start to understand and to find some strength to try and change my life. It is not straightforward and as you say there are unfortunately no magic wands.
You are understandably going through a complete myriad of emotions .Your situation is so challenging that no one other than you will know what it is like to live your life and be you. I used to worry all the time about peoples opinions but its only you that has to live with yourself so id put other peoples opinions into perspective. They will have no idea what its like to be you.
With regard to my own situation having a young daughter can help getting through the day sometimes. Seeing things through the innocent eyes of a 4 year old helps me appreciate the simple things. I have been out today with a friend who has a daughter the same age. The girls were so excited to be running through a stream and feeding the ducks it really helps me keep the addiction to gamble in its place and out of my life. My ex is doing nothing to address his addiction. He is an active CG and therefore I have to try and keep it out of my daughters life as much as possible.
Keep posting. I know I am doing better and I am only doing so because of the help support and empathy I have received on this site. You will come to make your own decisions and be happy with them. You are doing it now but I suppose it just feels strange?
Take care
M