It’s a relatively new relationship but I don’t see it going long term given the gambling. I suppose I could end it right now, tell her that I can’t move forward with a gambler, but at this stage of my life I want to travel and enjoy some of the money I saved up. I can’t think of a better person to go with. She’s not tied down to work, a wonderful companion, and traveling alone is no fun at all. I’m planning to take her to Japan for a few weeks and hike Mt Fuji, a trip I’ve always dreamed of. Then if all goes as I hope it does, additional travel to other countries in SE Asia through summer and fall.
She could be scheming to manipulate me in order to support her gambling addiction, but it doesn’t seem that way because on overseas travel we aren’t visiting casinos. She could be along with me to get a free ride and see the world, but “so what”. It doesn’t cost much extra for two, given we share the hotel etc.
Perhaps I’m the one manipulating the entire relationship, but I think it works for both of us.
One question: given her long history of losing money in casinos, and choosing two rampant gambling addicts to live with in former relationships, as well as the fact that she’s dragging me along into casinos now — is there any chance (no pun intended) that she can settle down with me and not lose thousands of dollars in a casino again? According to her, there was a two year period, not long ago, when she didn’t go to casino. She also says that casinos are simply fun entertainment and if I am with her she’ll swear to keep her losses at $200. Funny that because a few weeks ago she’d lost $100 and I said let’s go. She said just $100 more “I can win it back”. I said ok then watched her put $200 on the table (which she lost).
She has a type of “honesty oath” with me, such that she won’t lie if I ask her a question or make a statement. Whenever I’ve mentioned that her gambling is a big concern to me, rather than refute it she just seems to agree. As if she knows she can’t control it.
When I was married for 20 years, my wife always contributed to the finances. I appreciated that, though my wife gained weight, didn’t take care of herself or the house, and never wanted to leave the house. I get the impression that Nguyen, who takes really good care of herself and keeps a clean home, loves adventure, and would work and gamble away her own paycheck, never buying anything for our shared expenses. Perhaps I can find someone who fits every desire. In the meantime I’m content to be with Nguyen despite this raging compulsion to gamble.