Hi Maverick … thought I would reach out to you. I stopped gambling many years ago, but for many years before that I tried to stop gambling and kept failing. The problem was I was a problem gambler – and gambler’s gamble. So of course we “fall off the wagon” occasionally.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself. Whatever you do, don’t think – oh well I have gambled now – I might as well carry on. Just see this for what it is, a one off, when your guard was down.
Take things easy, lick your wounds and when you feel a bit better, look at what was going on for you before you gambled – was there a trigger (it sounds like drink was a factor – why were you drinking heavily?) How did you get access to gamble? Can you put more barriers in place?
I saw from reading previous posts that you were looking into counselling. Did you get anywhere with that. It could be that the gambling is telling you that things are not right and that you need to look after yourself.
I hope you didn’t do too much damage financially and that you can rally from this one. If I can be of any help, please get back to me.