I feel like I just want to curl up and cry my eyes out.
I mean there are certainly stressful things going on in my life, but nothing to warrant the crap day I have allowed myself today.
We found out our 16 year old did lied to us over something that happened over the summer. It was bad. It hurt me, he’s 16. Right? Teenagers are sneaky. It wasnt criminal, just against our rules.
I have $18 in the bank. That really is awful, but we have food and gas enough until Wed. Just two days away.
Gambling has bothered me a little with thoughts. Mostly just the want to run away! Escape this terrible sadness. I listened to some uplifting music on my way home. Tryng to hand it over to God. I cried and sang along.
I just feel so crappy sad!!!! What the heck is wrong with me? I have all I need. I have a beautiful healthy family. I keep counting my blessings and yet can’t seem to make the joy stay with me.
I read some other journals and see right in front of my eyes that if this is my rock bottom then I am soooo blessed.
I havent lost it all. I just need to shake myself. Thank God I very easily could have lost my home.
This pity party sucks! Going to stop now and recount my blessings.
#1—-I did not gamble today
#2—-I have all I need for this day
#3—-God is in control…………….
This does help:)