I thought I would put this on my own thread to remember my journey.
I am still coming on GT to read.
I found myself in a difficult position so many times. My triggers are playing games (non g) like Tetris excessively. They seem to remind me of the ‘highs’ of G.
Unfortunately my other trigger is when my bank balance looks healthy and I start thinking about purchasing a house somewhere.
After my holiday in the states and my love of the life out in Florida, I found myself calculating money again and wanting to accelerate the process of saving for that dream home (in Florida this time). Some of my family live out there and when I was there I felt at home and extremely well as I had when I lived in Aix-en-Provence. That dream still exists 🙂 and I will have to be a lot more patient and hardworking to realise it.
I Think about the tremendous efforts I have put into my recovery and all the positive that has come out of it. G thoughts come and go, some stronger than others but my barriers are solid and will help me in a big way.
After my episode of depositing money in my hubby’s account, I shut down that account and transferred the entire balance to a savings account which doesn’t allow any internet transfers nor issues any cards for purchases. I felt a great sense of relief as I know that money is ‘safe’ from G (at least).
The boredom that may have triggered the relapse is now being addressed. I signed up to an échange linguistique site and have found some people I converse with in French and English via watsapp and voice calls. It has really evoked the amazing experiences I had whilst living abroad and reminded me of the great efforts I put in to adapt to living and working abroad (including learning a third language). I lived frugally and was very happy. I have a good foundation to build on and I realised that those skills have lay dorment for the past 4 years. Well not anymore!