I havent responded earlier because of the reasons below.
Yes, I did hit a low and that crept into the last couple of weeks of additional boredom of not being able to do much more than sit around and look at my foot.
Last week, I really changed my mood and went back to how I would normally treat a SO. My logic, I can either let myself be pulled down back into the gambling spiral, where we are both in terrible moods and taking it out on each other. or i can rise above it and hope that CG can rise above it too.
And he did, the last few days/weeks have been great. he has wanted to see me more and even suggested that I saw him last week on payday. which was a big deal as i cant remember if there has been a single pay day this year where he hasnt gone off radar.
Yeah it is really difficult as long term its harder and harder to see how we would have a future together, even though I know it is what he desperately wants. He just has too much enablement around him to ever hit rock bottom.
I have been keeping visits shorter. Yesterday was very interesting as his village suffered from internet outage and he had no tv/internet all weekend. As i cant do anything, adding no tv/internet to that was driving me crazy and we were both getting on each others nerves. So I left and went back to the 21st century! usually, he would have some big kick off to justify why i had to leave. but he was super affectionate and waited to wave me off. Very unusual for my CG.
This week is going to be tough. All i can do is distract myself. somehow. Maybe.