Dear diary
I chatted with a “ I don’t believe” person today and thanks to this person, she make me realize my big problem and blind spot.
I realized that my recovery leads me to a control gambling and not a gambling free future.
For years, I tried and I tried again to do control gambling.
I don’t believe “I cannot walk away after I have gamble”
I don’t believe” I cannot walk away from placing my first gamble”
I have tried and cannot walk away “all the times” after I have gamble, this is very hard for me to do .
It is easier to walk away before placing the first bet.
The focus in my recovery should be on “not gambling” / not placing the first bet and not about “control gambling ” / continue gambling.
One brings a lot of tears and destruction while another one gives a lot of hope and confident in recovery. It is a choice which way we chooses.
Recovery can be a painfully slow process
Baby steps forward is a sure way
Walking away from the first bet leads to long term abstinence from gambling one day at a time.