Hi Michelle
I wanted to reply as I always feel I could have written your posts. Your posts are not rambling but very clear. You love someone with a gambling addiction and their behaviour is irrational and confusing and as hurt you over a long period of time. Its so understandable its so hard. I can see this very clearly when I read your posts but do struggle to see it for myself. I do understand.
You are doing well you are realising what is going on and trying to do something about it by not getting involved. I received advice that said you will always be involved in dramas if you let yourself and its so true. (Thanks jenny) . You know all this but it is so difficult to break patterns of behaviour. If your CG is taking the responsibility for his actions maybe he will start to change. But as you say they are his choices.
I am moving forward but it is a long road. Some days are easier than other. Today I feel angry and feel like ringing my CG and telling how irresponsible and selfish he is. This is because my daughter is a little unsettled although he has seen her. His recent compliant behaviour confuses me. I know I won’t and yet a couple of months ago I would have tried to explain this to him and have a reasonable discussion about it. It would have got me nowhere but angrier, more upset and feeling more hopeless. Now I write it here!!
Velvet commented that we often know the right thing to do and actually doing it is so much harder. It is but peace of mind is absolutely priceless. I am also striving for this.
Take care. I do completely understand
Regards m