Dear diary
What it was like in the past?
I was this selfish, self-centered, fearful and insecure person. I was earning more but I do not contribute and support my family for most of my life. I alway have big plans and needed the money for my self-seeking needs. I can sacrifice my family interest for mine.
After I hit rock bottom, the amount of money I owe was huge, the list of people are many and I do not earn much later. I hope that I can win money at gambling to repay these people but I lost even more money as a result.
After failing for 30 years, everything look impossible to me. I seriously thought I would never be able to do this for the rest of my life.
I watch and learnt many men who have tried to kill themselves or was put behind prison upon release could not stop gambling later. Addiction was this powerful and I was no different from them. I could not stay stop.
What happen?
After knowing God, I watched how I was suddenly able to repay, contribute and handover money regularly to my family now.
I saw how I made amend every month by repaying money to someone who cannot recognize me on the street after more than 15 years.
I shall start repaying one person at a time within my means instead of not doing anything completely or walk away. I have not seen these people for more than 15 years.
Instead of worrying and fear because there are so many of these people and the big sum of money is beyond my means. I did the next responsible and spiritual thing, repay one person at a time.
I did not allow what I cannot do to interfere with what I can do now.
God has help me to stop gambling when I do not have the strength to do it myself.
What is it like now?
I am starting to see what is in my eyes impossible things coming true.
Did I plan for everything? Did my mentor or another person force me or make sure I do this?
No I didn’t, it just happen like that.
God is great and powerful!