[icandothis]

Day 1. So many thoughts. So little I am able to articulate right now.
I think I need to change my name from “I can” to “I can’t”. It isn’t because right now I don’t feel like I can do this, even though that is how I feel, but I think it is finally sinking in to my thick skull that I CAN’T gamble. Ever! …and even now, with all the pain…I still hate the fact that I can’t gamble. But, at least for today, I accept it. Right now, I am “recovering” from last night and morning…it was an all-nighter. I want to stop “recovering” and be “in” recovery. Once and for all…all in!