I can’t remember when I last blew it so completely and spectacularly.
I can’t remember when I last felt such pain and shame .
I had forgotten the days of plotting and planning, counting and adding – surviving with no sleep.
I have no one left to talk to.
I have no one to help prop me up when I’m thinking I don’t want to even try to stand .
There is a black pit inside me and I fear it will swallow me .
My thoughts are going places no mother’s thoughts should ever go .
I texted someone from GA- I don’t even know who- just a number on a card .
It helped me feel there is a future .
No questions, no criticism- just support and hope .
– I felt appreciated for helping another member.
How can such a monumental fail be helpful to someone else ?
I just want to crawl somewhere and hide away
But that’s not an option for mums .