Thanks to all of you for responding! My biggest problem is filling the void that the quitting of gambling leaves behind.. I mean when I was gambling, I felt like it was a way to kind of avoid my problems for a temporary time (making those problems worse in the long run). As soon as I was done gambling, I generally felt much worse than I did before I had gambled, but WHILE I was gambling, I was not focused on anything except the rush from gambling, I suppose that’s the hidden thing we are all addicted to (not the money or chance of winning, money is just the fuel for the rush of the possibility to win). The fact that I really find myself unable to communicate well in person takes its toll on me, I have tried 3 therapists but none of them helped much (the second one seemed to care the most but was expensive and I relapsed so bad that I was ashamed to talk to them after that, they were tough and I have always been kind of a wimp when it comes to confrontation). I don’t take a lot of risks in approaching people because there is never much to say, and I think it has been years since anyone had the courage to approach me as well (which could be a vibe I am putting off). I know I should keep trying with therapists because I believe this gambling all stems from the lack of satisfaction from most other things in life, I really find it near impossible to connect with anyone on any deep level. I am fairly good at writing but when it comes to talking in person, my brain just moves too slow to have a good coherent conversation with someone. I have a bachelors degree which I would say is probably my biggest achievement in life, so it is not like I don’t know anything, I’m just very socially awkward. I have told myself 9 months ago when I quit gambling that if I don’t have the charisma to make my life better than at least I will have money eventually. My other hope is that maybe quitting this crazy difficult addiction that I have lost tens of thousands of dollars to over a long decade would give me the confidence boost I needed to get myself out there again. I am still looking for a glimmer of hope and trying to find my passion, as for now, I just work all the time and have the typical hobbies of a single 28 year old. Thanks again to anyone that has listened thus far. This post is mainly venting and if anyone has a similar issue as I do that causes your gambling, I would love to hear your story. Anyone else is welcome to chime in as well! Thanks again and I appreciate the kind words and advice.
