I am so upset with myself! No, I didn’t gamble. I lost my temper with my Mom and told her what I thought. Something wasn’t going the way that she wanted it (control) and she started picking me apart. I have dealt with this since childhood. Although I have tried to have honest talks with her because I thought it might strengthen our relationship, she continues her old ways. Although I never raised my voice yesterday, she screamed at me and said horrible things to me. Of course there is no talking to someone like that. I retreated to my home. She keeps wondering why family members have little to no interaction with her. Of course she finds a reason, none of it her fault, to justify this. She hangs up on me while I am talking on the phone to her and doesn’t make eye contact with me when we talk. She looks down or away. Very controlled and rude. She doesn’t have dementia because she doesn’t treat other people this way. I had very strong gambling urges the rest of the day. I didn’t act on them. I kept looking at my 2 year plan and budget. I’m not going to mess my plans up. I am worth a debt free, gamble free life! I have met a friend while on my daily walks. She has invited me over for dinner with her and her husband. We walk and talk. We seem to have a lot in common. It’s a start.
