I’m so sorry to read that you’re feeling low and out of control now. I know the feeling all too well. Good for you that you installed betfilter on your computer. Do they not have a filter for your smartphone? I know it all costs money, but sometimes that little investment saves thousands.
A few weeks back I got back on the gambling train determined never to self exclude again. But in a few short weeks I had to do it and self exclude online. There is nowhere for me to play now.
This addiction is a hard and horrible thing to go through. The only way for us to stop is to put barriers in place. Very few of us, if any, can stop without those barriers. I know I’m stating the obvious here … I wish I had something new and magical to say that will help make you stop.
You are not a failure. Failures give up. You never have.
Keep fighting the good fight. You will stop … I’m praying for sooner than later.
Best wishes.
RG