“I think this is God’s way of making me face up to things….I’m glad I don’t own a gun”
I just read your post Bettie, and I can see you are struggling on more than one level.
Being physically unwell can cause us to feel very frustrated and even lead to despair. Losing friends (even FWBs) can be very scary despite the imperfections in these relationships. Worrying about family members (Jen) and work and health doesn’t help either. In short, if most of us were as ready and open as you are , many of us would have to admit “My life is in a mess!”
The opposite to order is chaos Bettie. We create our own “messes”, often by looking in the wrong places for peace, for joy and for happiness. Sometimes we find what we think is happiness (like gambling, risky relationships, alcohol etc etc) As we mature we learn that we have been duped. The “happiness”we thought we were experiencing was no more than a thrill and we are left feeling empty and rejected. All these hurts push us towards further destruction; for a CG gambling being the ultimate illusion. We all know, Bettie that gambling solves none of Life’s problems. I agree that God will give us opportunities to face up to things and sometimes He takes things and people away from us (OUCH!), for our OWN GOOD. He allows us to suffer those losses to protect us from greater evil and lead us to a greater good. When we put other things / people before God and our lives to end up in turmoil, it’s easy to point a finger of blame towards Him, for what we freely did in disobedience to His Plan for our lives. God wants what is good for us and what will make us happy. Maybe we were searching in the wrong places, Bettie. I agree with you that He is giving you a wake up call (He gave me hundreds. I was asleep!) He wants to awaken us to our emptiness, powerlessness and our limitations and to make us more mature, discerning what is not essential in our lives so that we can turn towards what is.
As you often pointed out to me B, it’s all about surrender and letting go.
Melody Beattie got it right about those codependent relationships. They lead to disharmony and despair.
The opposite to all that is HOPE, Bettie, so forget about that gun.
Better days ahead. You know where the tools are. The more we throw them back, the more complicated everything will become. Keep it simple.
God is good!
Well done on giving your mam a memorable 80th Birthday!
